Alcohol is a significant component of the social scene in a number of places. It’s a mainstay at college parties, weddings, and simple get-togethers with friends.
But what if you’re not a drinker?
Perhaps you’re in recovery, or perhaps you’re just taking a break to see how you feel. In any case, you intend to stay alcohol-free for the duration of the evening.
Turning down alcohol can be awkward, especially if you’re with people who have seen you drink in the past.
Whether you’ve decided to go sober for good or just have a night off the booze, these tips can help you get through it.
This response requires the most bravery and is frequently met with demands for an explanation. It should, ideally, put an end to any further discussion, though you should be prepared to put up with teasing or being asked if you have a drinking problem.
“I don’t drink” is the best response for anyone serious about recovering from alcoholism or who wants to end the nonsense of peer pressure to drink alcohol. People will eventually accept that you have changed, and you may even become a role model for your peers.
Choose a non-alcoholic beverage.
If you’re meeting friends outside, you could bring sodas or other non-alcoholic beverages of your choice. If you’re already holding a drink, you’re less likely to be approached for one, which saves you from potentially awkward conversations.
Meanwhile, if you want to go out to a bar, many have alcohol-free beers and ciders on tap. If you prefer, there are always alternatives such as soda, juice, or water.
Assume you’re drinking.
This is similar to the previous advice, but it may be more effective for you.
If you’re comfortable holding alcohol but not actually drinking it, you could “nurse” it by pouring it out in the bathroom or offering it to friends to try.
Maybe you don’t mind a little alcohol, but you don’t want to get drunk. You could order a drink at the beginning of the evening and sip it over the course of a few hours, giving your friends the impression that it’s actually multiple drinks.
Consult with the bartender.
It doesn’t hurt to have a quiet conversation with the bartender if you want to appear to be drinking. They serve everyone, and most won’t judge you for not drinking alcohol.
If you order a coke, for example, you could request that it be served in the same glass as a vodka coke. The two drinks appear identical, and no one will suspect anything.
You can take it a step further with cocktails and order one that is alcohol-free but ask them to fix it up and decorate it as if it were alcoholic. The worst thing they can say is “no,” which is highly unlikely.
Be truthful.
Excuses may be effective in the short term. However, if you plan on not drinking for a while or are with trusted friends, you should consider being honest.
Everyone’s relationship with alcohol is unique, and it’s okay to be open about your decision to abstain. Unlike excuses, which may only be effective until the next time you go out with your friends, being honest can keep your friends off your back in the long run.
Who knows, you might even discover that someone else is going through a similar experience.
Make an offer to drive
Everyone should be aware of the dangers of drinking and driving, so why not volunteer to be the designated driver?
Your friends will appreciate you taking one for the team, and you will be able to enjoy your time out without being pressed to drink.
Take ownership of your ‘No.’
You owe no explanation to anyone, whether it’s the truth or an excuse.
If you don’t want to explain yourself to someone, you can simply say “no” and leave it at that. You have the right to keep your business private, especially if it is with a stranger.
However, you may discover that people are unconcerned. In some cases, the thought of not drinking in a social situation is more difficult than the reality. People don’t always care.
Furthermore, if you’re at a party or somewhere with limited alcohol, you’re doing them a favor by leaving more for everyone else.
After all, you’re not attempting to regulate their drinking habits; you’re simply saying no for yourself.
Alter the subject
We’ve all been in a situation where someone, whether a friend or a random stranger, approaches us drunkenly, starts talking, and word vomit spills out.
If they notice you aren’t drinking, they may inquire as to why. Even if they are a friend who is aware that you do not drink, alcohol has a way of lowering inhibitions, so they may still ask or pry for more information.
If you don’t want to respond, especially to someone who is inebriated, you can change the subject. For example, ask them about themselves, discuss the band or sports team on their T-shirt, or bring up a mutual friend.
Final thoughts
There are various reasons why people do not drink, and it is up to you to decide how open you want to be about your own situation.
Just keep in mind that drinking (or not drinking) is a personal decision. You can still have a good time with your friends even if you’re the only one who isn’t drinking — as long as you’re all okay with each other’s choices.