Counselling services are not constrained to a professional in all cases. Those who surround us and who we allow into our lives will play an informal counselling role whether we (or they) want to or not. It’s just the reality of love and the responsibility it brings, especially where it concerns partner-to-partner relations.
Knowing this means that you only have two choices: provide counselling services to the best of your ability, or leave those you love to flounder on their own. Of course, many circumstances can muddy and complicate the simplicity of this statement, but sweep them all away, and this core decision remains the same. If you’ve chosen the first option and are looking for your own support and assistance to do your best for your loved one, continue reading below.
Supporting Your Partner & Loved Ones
Be a Good Listener and Avoid Making Judgments
One of those funny human quirks that we have to accept is that everyone knows exactly what someone else should do but fails to have a clue about their own way forward. When practicing impromptu counselling services, keep this in mind and restrain yourself from offering the obvious solutions you can see. Just listen to your partner and let them express their emotions and feelings without rushing to their aid. By being a good listener and avoiding judgement, you’re already helping.
Encourage Them to Seek Other Help and Assist Them in Finding It
This might sound contradictory to the advice given above, but it really isn’t. Don’t dismiss thoughts and feelings outright because “there’s professional help available” or whatever. But, if the problem persists or the feelings start to affect their quality of life, gently and considerately bring up the idea. Come prepared with a few options tailored to their needs, like free or close options. Avoid ultimatums or pressuring them, as this may alienate them.
Offer to Attend Appointments
Some people say that they want to receive help but seem unable to actually attend their appointments. Others are scared that they won’t be able to express themselves properly or that their problems are too big to fix. Whatever the reason, sometimes a show of support can be simply attending the appointment with them. This helps them feel comfortable, safe and accountable to someone they trust.
Stay in Regular Contact
Let your partner or loved one know you’re there for them. Call them at a regular time and follow up about the topics you discussed before. Be open to doing activities they’re interested in, like online video games, walks or just hanging out and talking. By staying connected, you show them that they aren’t alone and give them the opportunity to enjoy their preferred hobbies and activities.
Don’t Forget to Look After Yourself
Supporting and nurturing your partner or loved one is a noble and kind thing to do; make no mistake. But, depression is a draining illness that affects those in contact with it, so don’t be afraid to set reasonable boundaries that respect your own needs. If you need extra support while giving your own, don’t be afraid to seek it out for yourself. Remember that weird human quirk we mentioned earlier?