This is a tricky situation to navigate in any family. Even if you have a wonderful, open, relationship with your parents, the chances are that they won’t tell you the whole truth when it comes to how well they are managing at home on their own.
The home is where people go to feel safe, it represents independence and autonomy. Many people fear that if they admit that they are not coping all that well, they will immediately be removed from their home and put into a nursing home. For this reason, they don’t tell their children when they are having trouble.
In reality, there are levels of care between being at home and being in a nursing home. And even if your parents needed to move into a nursing home, many of these are more like five-star resorts than they are medical facilities!
Here are a few points to look out for, that will tell you whether or not your parent is coping well at home.
Meal preparation
Ensuring that you are adequately nourished is one of the most important factors in maintaining your health as you get older. If you notice that your parent is starting to lose weight, or you notice that they aren’t eating properly, this is certainly a cause for concern and you should contact your physician for advice. Sudden weight loss can be an indicator of an underlying health problem and shouldn’t be ignored.
However, if you are just concerned that your parent is not finding cooking as easy as they once did, then this isn’t necessarily a cause for concern. If you want to make sure your parent has easy access to tasty and nutritious meals then there are lots of meal delivery services available, which will mean that your parent can get meals delivered to them at home.
When selecting a meal delivery service, you should consider what nutritional needs need to be met, as well as what type of meals they will most likely enjoy.
It’s possible to get meals delivered hot and ready to eat, or frozen, so that all your parent needs to do is heat up the meal.
Paying bills
It’s obviously important that your parents’ bills are paid! You don’t want to end up finding out that the mortgage hasn’t been paid or that the electricity is being cut off. If your parent hasn’t been paying their bills then you should look into this, as memory problems can be an indicator of Alzheimer’s. However, if there are no other issues aside from the odd missed payment then you can help them get back on track.
A lot of people take over financial responsibility for their parents as they get older, ensuring that their bills are paid on time and that money is managed correctly. However, this can be quite a time-consuming job.
It is possible to employ a money management service to do this work for you, but it’s worth bearing in mind that this can be quite expensive.
Taking medication
If your parent has been prescribed medication then it’s very important that they remember to take it when they are supposed to. It can be difficult for people to remember to take medication, so this isn’t necessarily a cause for concern by itself.
There are a few methods that you can try that may help your parent to remember their meds:
- Take their medication at the same time as another daily habit, for example, when brushing their teeth or when having breakfast.
- Leave their medication somewhere visible so that they are reminded to take it.
- Set an alarm on a cell phone or watch to remind them to take it.
- Put a reminder note somewhere that it will be seen each day, for example, on the refrigerator or bathroom cabinet.
- Use a pill box so that it’s easy to see whether or not the day’s medication has been taken. Alternatively, if your parent only has one type of medication to take you could try flipping over the box or the bottle each day once the required dose has been taken.
- Record each dose. Each time a dose is taken, mark it off on a calendar or in a diary.
Social needs and transportation
One of the biggest challenges facing people as they age is loneliness. If your parent is no longer able to drive and as a result, they can’t easily visit friends and relatives, this needs to be addressed.
Loneliness is a huge contributing factor to depression, which in turn increases the risk of cognitive decline.
Socialization is one of the key reasons that a lot of people choose to move into a care community. In care communities there is much easier access to other people of the same age and with similar backgrounds, and so it’s easier to feel connected and part of a community. Another possible solution if your parent is struggling with loneliness and transportation is to hire a home care provider. They can help with transportation, and they can act as a source of company.
Mobility
If your parent is struggling with their mobility, meaning that they are struggling to move around in the home and are possibly in danger of falling, this probably is a reason to consider moving them into a care community or nursing home.
If they are in need of constant assistance to allow them to live their lives, then a nursing home can certainly help because they will have staff on hand 24 hours a day to help them. Plus, these facilities usually have a huge amount of recreational and social activities available to residents, so life can actually be better than it was at home!
Take a look at nursing homes near me to see what’s available in your area.
Personal hygiene
If you notice that your parent is struggling with personal hygiene this is a sign that they may need some extra help. It may simply mean that installing a hand rail in the shower will help them to get in and out as they need to, or it could be a sign that they need more regular care.
There is no one sign that your parent requires extra care. The best idea to do is keep talking with them, and let them know if you are concerned. Your physician will also be able to offer you advice and referrals.